From illness to wellness

Help me!

Have you ever been in a position where life completely halts you?

A place where you feel trapped, stuck, unable to move?

A place of pain that you cannot run and hide from and you feel like your whole world is crashing down around you?

How can I go to work; how can I function with this pain, I can’t move. How can I look after my horse?

The struggle was real.

This happened to me, it was real, the pain was real and the struggle was real.

Now I'm no angel, never was, that’s for sure and what I had experienced in life prior to and leading up to this moment can only be described as a crazy rollercoaster ride hurtling along

the tracks at 100mph. These days you are more likely to find me sat in the middle of a field meditating 🙏

Why? This is my story.

In 2015 something struck me down to the point it would change me forever. I became so ill that just moving around in the house was a struggle. I had extreme fatigue, sleeping for 14 hours straight or more and when awake, I was in excruciating pain, trying to battle my way through the day.

I had many tests, saw countless doctors and specialists and the best they wanted to offer me were anti-depressants. The urgency, the desperate plea for help ran through me to the core. I was screaming at them "I'm in pain, there is something seriously wrong. The pain in my lower abdomen was so severe that no amount of painkillers touched it and they only irritated my stomach to point of throwing up. I tried to take the tablets but I was continuing to get worse and couldn’t function properly at all. I was peeing every 15 minutes and it was excruciating.

Now I’ve suffered with cystitis in the past (since age 3) but nothing could have prepared me for this pain, it was beyond a pain anyone could describe and much more intense than a full blown UTI. The pain radiated around my back, hips, down my legs and inside my bladder to the point it felt like my whole lower abdomen was convulsing.

The night sweats were insane, I would wake up freezing cold literally head to toe wet through and doctors questioned if I was early menopausal.

Working was unbearable; I was so lucky to be working for a caring company but because doctors couldn’t determine what the problem was and outwardly for others, to them I just looked ok on the outside so they didn't understand at all what I felt like on inside. I felt trapped inside of myself and completely frustrated that no one was being urgent to help or could find anything to help.

After many more tests and numerous invasive procedures, doctors discussed Chronic fatigue syndrome, Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, MS was even discussed at one point, the fear drove through every nerve in my body and I was a wreck. I had already paid out a small fortune for private doctors thinking they would get to the root of the problem, but not one medical professional could give me a definitive answer or explanation as to what was going on with my body or get me out of the pain.

I gave up on them in the end and sought out natural healing practices.

Natural medicine was always a part of me as it had been since I was 17 after working for a large aromatherapy company.

I saw a few different practices, who explained that healing takes time but I persisted and nothing seemed to be working. Some explained it can also be just as much about the emotional journey as it is about the physical aspect. I knew what they meant and having experienced many traumatic experiences in my life, I understood fully what they were saying but I thought id dealt with all issues from the past.

It made me remember when at the age of 21 I had a breakdown (PTSD) which doctors never believed I would fully overcome - but I did and this is where I drew my strength from to carry on.

I’m not one for labels in the form of diagnosis to conditions that cannot be explained or that are not fully understood, I’ve always questioned everything, at times annoyingly to my parents; forever asking "but why"

difficult and stubborn could also apply here.

So, onwards I continued, studying, trying to work as best I could, trying hard to hold everything up myself and then in 2016 my horse, my baby, my pride and joy had a terrible accident and her back leg was severed. I was in complete despair, she was everything to me, everything I’d worked so hard for and longed for since I was a little girl, as if it wasn't bad enough, I was struggling managing her already because of my illness state.

After seven months of treatment by the vets, the only thing left they had to offer was an operation that would have cost £10k. I had used the equal in insurance claim but there was no guarantee it would work and the leg would more than likely never function the same again, the only other option

was put her to sleep and I was given a few days to decide. I had so many thoughts running around my head, what if it didn’t work? ;what if she will always be in pain? I know what

that’s like and it’s not fair. How can I lose her now, we've already been through so much together?”

One day I was sat thinking at work and I had just made the decision in my mind, was about to contact the vets and then it happened, the first of many weird things to come. I looked at

the clock 10:10 and heard a voice whisper inside Don’t give up. I literally thought I was going mad.

Mollie, I remember her looking depressed, deflated and she put her head in my arms and held it there for what seemed like a lifetime, she was giving up. I cried a lot that day and remember saying to her don’t give up and once again my determination rose up in me like, like a force of energy I cannot describe. I don’t know where it came from but a thought came into my head to seek advice from the Chinese Herbalist I was seeing at the time.

I asked his advice and he promptly sent me seven bags of herb granules. He advised to push the herbs into the wound as far as I could. The options left to me were so limited that I felt it was worth trying. The hardest part was holding the vets off, they made me feel like I was being selfish but I just needed to give it a go.

I had seven days worth of herbs and on the fifth day there was a miraculous improvement in the colour of the skin and the depth of the wound; it was closing up.

Everyday the wound looked better and better until finally it was closed up and wasn’t opening again.

We shortly moved farms and Mollie has continued to improve in mind and body.

I'm so glad I didn’t give up but my fight wasn’t over.

I continued to struggle through the days in pain, researching and studying as much I could.

Everyday I would question why this was happening to me? what was wrong with me? and my head was constantly running around in circles about what had caused this.

There are many theories when it comes to all autoimmune conditions not just my bladder/abdomen issue and many of them are plausible:

Chronic UTI, Bacterial Biofilms, specific bacteria, viruses, parasites that standard doctors tests do not find or look for, Leaky gut, Gut brain connection, Lyme disease pathogens etc etc etc

One of the most frustrating aspects of any illness is that our medical professionals only have the tools they have available to them, I know this frustrated my GP's but they did try and a couple of them were open to many studies, trials and medical data I put in front of them, still they could only do what they could do.

It wasn’t until I gave up merry-go-round for answers and started focussing on treating myself from a mind, body and spirit approach that I started to heal. I focused only on the positive

aspects of my life and I relaxed more, used monthly rotational cleanses, putting all my new botanical skills together, it took hard work, courage and determination.

in January 2019 I had knocked symptoms right down to nothing but I knew something still was not quite right, this is when I received results from an MRI scan, Adenomyosis was the last label I received and knew there is a little bit of work left to do and knew exactly how I would help this. The most amazing point i want to make is that throughout all of this journey I now take comfort in knowing there is always something to go to that will help manage and recover. Now that I'm symptom free, and enjoying life again, it was worth the fight and I am grateful for the lessons I've learnt along the way. I will carry throughout the rest of this life's journey and to help and support others.

Special thanks to Kim Carmen Walsh, a wonderful woman with an incredible heart and talent.

If you would like to connect, Message me here or contact me at Strandside Natural Health.

Wellness blessings to all

Kelly Marie xx